Big Daddy's Ozarks Writing Blog

 As stated currently in the Deacon Handbook

The ministry of a deacon in a local church is, by definition, a ministry of service.

At Ridgecrest, a deacon is an extension of the ministry of the Senior Pastor.

EXPECTATIONS & TASKS OF AN ACTIVE DEACON

·       Every deacon must sign the Ridgecrest Leadership covenant.

·       Faithful in Small Group attendance and worship.

·       Each deacon should be a promoter of unity within the church and a peacemaker.

·       Have a heart for prayer and be willing and able to pray in various settings.

·       Able and prepared to serve in the church and available to ministry.

·       Willing and able to witness to others about Jesus Christ.

·       The ability to show up at deacon meetings and church events / activities.

·                      Every deacon is challenged to be growing spiritually in loving God and others.

·       Devoted to God, and an example to others.

·       Nurturing to your own family, a good steward of relationship with wife and children.

·       Committed to Ridgecrest and the Senior Pastor

·       Faithful in a daily time in God's Word and in prayer.

·       Faithful in tithing and giving offerings.

·       Be realistic about life situations or stresses which would make them unable to serve.

·       Able to attend deacon meetings and fellowships.

·       Advise Chairman of deacons, if you are no longer able to fulfill these expectations.

QUALIFICATIONS OF A DEACON

1.      A man of honest (good) reputation in the church, as well as those outside the church.

2.      Full of the Holy Spirit (Acts 6:3).

3.      Full of wisdom (Acts 6:3) wisdom born in a relationship with the Holy Spirit.

4.      Full of faith (Acts 6:5) like Stephen's, a deacon's power depends on faith.

5.      Grave (1 Timothy 3:8) one who possesses Christian purpose, who has great reverence for spiritual matters. One whose word carries weight.

6.      Not double-tongued (1 Timothy 3:8) dependable and responsible in control of his tongue.

7.      Not given to much wine (1Timothy 3:8) temperate in living, steward of good influence.

8.      Not greedy of filthy lucre (1 Timothy 3:8) a right attitude toward material possessions.

9.      A holder of the faith (1 Timothy 3:9) who possesses spiritual integrity beyond reproach.

10.   Tested and proved (1 Timothy 3:10) a man who demonstrates his spiritual qualifications before being elected to serve as a deacon, tested and found true.

11.   Blameless (1 Timothy 3:10), no charge of wrongdoing can be brought with success.

12.   Christian family life (1 Timothy 3:11-12) a man whose family is well cared for and growing.

13.   Husband of one wife (1 Timothy 3:12) a model of faithful devotion to one spouse, committed

# posted by David L. Burton @ 11/21/2021 11:09:00 PM 0 comments

by Bob Coleman

Jacque and met at 10 and 9 years old. We grew up, and married in Louisville, KY. In the early years of our marriage I worked at MSD: Metropolitan Sewer District. Jacque was a waitress at Jerry’s restaurant. My job at MSD was unequivocally the most foul job one could hold. I literally crawled the sewers of Louisville. Some on my stomach, some I crawled on my knees, and some I walked, that were so big, one could drive a semi truck through it. Literally.

When I share this truth with people, I usually get “How could you do that?” Or, “I could never do that.” I use to reply; “It’s a job.” And back then, it was. What I didn’t know then, but have grown to know and love today is; that that job was training me for ministry today. A ministry, that I have come to love and respect, as one of the greatest ministries one could serve. Hospital and Long Term Care.

You are probably wondering “How does one equate the two Bob.” Easy. They both are jobs that need to be done. And neither are for the squeamish or faint at heart. 

While working at MSD, I also wanted to further my education and went to college. An interesting reality was quickly made to me. While in school I worked at ORMC: Orlando Regional Medical Center. And during those 4 years at that hospital, God showed me my ministry focus. The sick, the dying, and the elderly. You see, a truth that every man or woman who understands and loves the hospital ministry knows: loving, ministering, caring, and praying with the in-firmed, the sick and the dying; are ministries of the heart. 

While rewarding in so many ways, hospital and home bedside visits are not for the faint, the squeamish, or the hurried. One has to be able to see past the tubes, the machines, past the blood and the scars; and at times, we must see beyond the anger, the God questioning, and the mental anguish.

I have personally been afforded the grace and privilege to visit many MANY people either at the side of a hospital bed, in a nursing facility, or at their beside at home. Many times I walked away from my visit praying; God have mercy on this person. Sometimes I left refreshed…….

Sometimes….. I didn’t make it down the hall, out of a driveway, or out of the parking lot without tears falling. While standing over Jerry Hall’s body in the ER room a searing pain flooded my heart. An anger I never once felt in any hospital, home, or long term care facility began to well up within me. I left in a hurry. I got alone and sought the Spirit of God. Whom gave me the peace that passes understanding, and the fortitude to do what I knew was coming. I buried my best friend.

Friends, there are times when we minister to our own friends and families, and several years ago I buried my best friend. Jerry was my Small group teacher and leader, until I took over for him. Jerry died of a brain aneurysm. And I buried him several years ago. Many of you remember Jerry.

While in a two year short term pastorate in Dalton, Ga. I met a man by the name of Wendell Bigham. Ohhh, let me tell you about my friend Wendell.

When I met Wendell, he was 80 years old. Wendell had only two jobs in his life. At 15 years old, Wendell started working at the small Hospital in Dalton, Ga. He was a painter……for two years Wendell painted the halls, the rooms, the closets…

Two years later war broke out and Wendell answered the Call of Duty.

Then four years later Wendell came home to Dalton, and started painting at that hospital again. Every room until he retired.

When I came to pastor at East Side Baptist, Wendell and I hit it off fast and deep. Weekly Wendell would invite me to the hospital to eat. “My treat”, he would say. I would respond, “Wendell. Let me take you to get a good meal.” 

Each week Wendell would invite me to the hospital to eat. “Chicken today Bob. It’s good.” Have you ever eaten hospital food? Each week. I’d decline. Finally Jacque said something that woke me up out of a slumber. Jacque’s said: “Bob, you need to honor Wendell. Let him take you to the hospital to eat. At the hospital Wendell is somebody.” I was mortified. And said “Baby. You are so right.” You see, at the Hospital Wendell WAS somebody. I told Wendell, next Sunday Wendell, your treat, and I’m coming hungry. Next Sunday rolled around. “Are ya ready to eat Pastor Bob.” “Yes Sir Wendell. I sure am.”

We get to the Hospital and walked into the cafeteria. My jaw hit the floor. Half of the church was there. I stood with Wendell at the back of the line. Watching the cashier ringing people out. Man her hand was gettin’ it! I told Jacque to have a check ready. I was sure Wendell wasn’t prepared for so many people. After the tally, the cashier nodded then said, knowing his name: Mr Wendell. I clutched Jacque’s hand…. Mr. Wendell, she said; “That will be 8 dollars and 23 cents.” My jaw hit the floor as I looked at Jacque, then Wendell. You see, this lady, who knew Wendell, only charged Wendell the tax.

Now my friends. This is what you call integrity. Because Wendell was so loved for the two jobs he did for Dalton, GA; He could have brought in the entire city, and not paid a nickel. Why? Because Wendell H Bigham served with Gladness, and with Pride, and with Honor. Wendell Bigham was loved.

If I have one word of encouragement to my fellow deacons, to the staff at Ridgecrest, and to our Pastors….

My friends “In all that you do. Do to the glory of God.” 

And friends, this IS why we serve. To give God and our Savior all the Glory and all the Honor.

# posted by David L. Burton @ 11/11/2021 10:14:00 AM 0 comments

By Bob Coleman

When David asked me to share a few insights concerning hospital and bereavement care, I was delighted to do so. While often tough and painful ministries, hospital and bereavement care is equally rewarding, personally. To be able to assist hurting individuals and families during these inevitable and painful phases of life, is a blessing.

In Matthew we read:

“For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothed you?

And when did we see you sick or in prison, and visited you?” Matthew 25:35-40

Honestly folks? Hospital and Bereavement Ministry is not for everyone, but it could be.  It is a rewarding ministry to love on those who are hurting, who are dying, or dealing with the loss or sickness of a loved one.

Now, with this thought in mind, and from an extensive history of visiting hospitals and home bedsides, here are just a few things I have learned over many years.

When going to the hospital to visit a church member or maybe a family member of a fellow church member, check ahead to determine if the individual is still there, moved, or sent home. Check on their status before going, so as to know what direction your visit will assume. Most of the time, you can call ahead to the church to get a brief enlightenment of the individual’s status. When making a hospital visit, one doesn’t exactly know every time, what we will encounter when we walk into their room.

I remember once a couple years back, a visit of a member’s grandmother. She was in her late eighties. When I walked into the room, she was laying very close to her bed rail peeking through the bars. I immediately felt incredible empathy. I walked up to her bed, and knelt down eye level to her. She didn’t speak a word in the 20 minutes I was there. I told her who I was and that I wanted to share a couple songs, and a verse with her

I sang My Jesus I love Thee. Jesus Loves Me This I know. And one verse of There is coming a Day. She quietly laid there teary-eyed, holding my hand.

And I did the same. I learned along time ago. If our Lord who knows the outcome of every single solitary thing, was likewise touched by grief and cried; so can I, and so can you.

In both hospital and especially bereavement ministries, one must allow themselves to be touched by another’s grief, but not overcome by their grief. Anyone who knows me well enough, knows that I am a bit of a cut up, a prankster, and fun loving person. But these same people know that I am soft hearted and bereavement care is very dear to my heart.

During my years of ministering to the sick, the in-firmed, and the dying, a couple truths have been a constant reality. (1) Bereavement  Care is never easy, and (2) while sometimes painful, composure, while important, isn’t as important as being genuine. Even our Lord was touched by grief at Lazarus’ tomb. So…… Be genuine.

Through my years of ministry, I have been well acquainted with grief, death, and dying. In a two year span while Pastoring in Dalton, GA alone; I buried fourteen people. It is never easy to bury anyone, and it is a very painful duty of ministry to bury someone you love and treasure. Here in Springfield, I have thus far buried seven people. Burying Jerry Hall a few years ago was one of the hardest things not only in ministry, but in life I have ever had to do. Jerry was my dearest friend.

You will have to be prepared to go into a hospital room where someone is unsure what will happen to them. Or to lay someone to rest. I have been asked before, How do you prepare to bury someone? I answered with this thought. One doesn’t prepare to bury anyone. One must BE PREPARED to bury someone. Prayed up. Read up.  And Composed.

How do I prepare for Bereavement Ministry? I read God’s Word. I pray for the family. I pray with the family, especially the closest to the deceased.

Ladies, it is okay to hold a grieving woman’s hand or touch her back. If you know her.

Men, quiet strength and sometimes a hand on the back or arm of a friend, is warranted and needed. However, male or female; never presume to be automatically close to an individual during this troublesome time, if you haven’t already been.

Only Time and the Holy Spirit can heal the wounds of losing a loved one; especially a wife, a husband, a child. Not my wisdom nor your wisdom will get a grieving person through this time. In this situation, when it comes to talking; less is usually best. Let the family member talk. Talking is good for them. Remember. Hurting people usually do not know or consider how they are supposed to act. Give them space and Give them grace.

The greatest information YOU need to understand afore hand is: Am I the correct person to offer physical condolences? If we haven’t been close to an individual before they lost a loved one; we very well may not be the person to console this person when they do lose their loved one. Do not be offended or feel as though you haven’t “helped the individual.”

Most times people just need the time and space to say their goodbye, to reconcile in their own heart too… and with… their deceased loved one.

Sometimes there will be a need to instill comfort, and their is no greater source of comfort than a listening ear.

The bereaved are mourning, searching, and questioning.

However, the bereaved are not seeking or ready for a short sermon. These times of ministry are not times for quips, like:

“You’ll get through this.”  “You’ll be alright.”  or  “He or She is in a better place.”

The bereaved know these things.

Quiet strength and solidarity is what the bereaved need and probably seeking; even if they aren’t aware of it at the moment.

Men, Just standing quietly beside a mourning father, a husband, a brother instills a strength that is needed.

Ladies, quietly holding a hand, touching a back gives strength to a grieving wife, mother, or daughter.

What is rarely appropriate if one hasn’t been close to the bereaved, is to run up to them and start hugging them tight. The bereaved will almost without hesitation reach for you, if they feel a need of your comfort. If a grieving person does walk up to you and put their head on you or hug you; stand there in quiet strength, and give them all the time and grace they seek and need of you.

Most every bereaved individual have some thought to how the funeral should be conducted. Will it be somber? Quiet? Reserved? Will it be a home-going atmosphere; with lively music? Will it be quiet and reserved.

Assuming is never appropriate. Ask the closest bereaved or the person set in charged for the closest bereaved.

If you are one who is in a place of leadership during this time, insure all documents are signed. The particulars are cared for. Will their be music?

A soloist? A special music lineup? Dinner prepared, and where? What is the address of the Funeral Home and the gravesite?

Be humble. Be flexible. A bereaving family need to be heard, yet need for the funeral to be well prepared and cared for.

In finishing these thoughts. Grief sharing and Death and dying are wonderful ministries for the right individuals, both men and women. And both are needed.

May the Lord bless you if you are lead into such a somber but soul-stirring and rewarding ministry.

# posted by David L. Burton @ 11/11/2021 10:13:00 AM 0 comments

Unity & Prayer are the themes for our upcoming deacon meetings at Ridgecrest Baptist Church. Both are vital if our deacon ministry is to be a blessing to this church, its pastors, and its members.

As I’ve prayed over the past year about these deacon meetings, I kept having this thought placed on my heart: deacons should demonstrate unity, and to do so, we need to know each other well and understand each other’s calling.

Consider these meetings our team training where “iron sharpens iron.” The focus will be getting to know each other and be prayer.

This summer, I read a small book by Matt Smethurst entitled “Deacons: How They Serve and Strengthen the Church.”

Matt gives a clear picture of what work the deacons are to be about in their role. He says it this way: “As the pervasive world of social media urges people to ‘promote yourself,’ deacons quietly set others up to win.”

When American culture, dare I say church culture too, is marked by division and self-promotion, deacons protect and promote church unity. We are to safeguard the harmony of the church and set our pastors and others up to win.

Part of the harmony begins in this room as we grow in unity ourselves.

1,    Attending deacon meetings is an important part of that: thank you for being here.

2    Reading our weekly deacon emails so you stay in the communication loop is another good step: 78% of you opened this week’s deacon update. Thank you to those of you that did, but we could do better.

3.    One final way to help build that unity among deacons so that it can spill over into the church is by having each of you involved in our meetings.

We need the deacon membership involved at this and future meetings, leading devotionals, leading trainings, giving reports, and leading in prayer. If you are not on today’s meeting agenda, it means you are eligible to be on the agenda in January! You can volunteer or get drafted.

Thanks again for being here. Now let’s go team!

-- David L. Burton

# posted by David L. Burton @ 11/08/2021 07:46:00 AM 0 comments